Don't Be Afraid to Say No and Take Some Time

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe." Friedrich NietzscheGerman philosopher (1844 - 1900)

I chose this quote because often when one is dying or grieving society expects more than what we have to give. Often we are expected to move on as if nothing is happening or has even happend. This is where we need to use our voice for ourselves and others. Studies show it's important to have some time alone, rest is needed, so when you feel the need or see someone being pushed when they need to rest don't be afraid, speak up.... Laurie

"We draw our strength from the very despair in which we have been forced to live. We shall endure." -Cesar Chavez

"It is helpful to remember that ego strength and growth come from struggle."
-Sally Dunning, A.C.S.W. Family Styles Child Bereavement Project

Welcome Aboard Howard Blake!

Finding The Sun Again would like to welcome Howard Blake aboard!!! Howard has a great deal to offer Finding The Sun Again. This gentle man with a big heart has a passion for God, helping people in Hospice and working with people dealing with grief. Howard will be Laurie's co-facilitator in our first expeditions in Loss Support Groups.
Howard, thank you for joining us in the conquest to help others find the tools that will work for them through hospice care and grief so that they may "Find the Sun Again"!!!
Laurie

Grief Bursts

Sometimes we are moving along on our journey and it hits us. Don't know how; not even sure of when,,, the heart is aching again.. The chest is heavy, uncontrollable tears may have taken over and the nice beautiful day is now bleak. It's like having a freight train smacking you right in your face, no your entire body... I'm now angry, I was getting beyond this and here it is making me work harder again...
Grief Burst. That's what it's called. It's normal and it just plain sucks.

What Greggy would say

"When you fall, keep the smile on your face, get back up and keep right on!" - Laurie L. Bayless
I was looking at a picture of Greggy getting up from a fall with a smile on his face. The more I thought I heard him say this to me. It's how he lived his life and a behavior I hope to attain at all times someday...

Reminders

Today as I was in a rush to get to the heart center to take food to my caffeine/nicotene w/drawal husband I met a lady. Her and I arrived in line at the same time; she was very kind and offered to let me go first. I thanked her for allowing me to get to my cranky husband faster and she told me her story... This month is her hardest month of the year; not only her wedding anniversary but also the anniversary of her husband's death who died during open heart surgery. WOW. How could that be? It's amazing how God reminds me of my mission and not to stray from it. It's been 40 years that she has been putting one foot in front of the other and live life. 40 years of grief. I am even more grateful that everything looks good for my husbands achy heart. Stress... Stress of grief and holding it all back, it's exploding in his body as he tries to move on and make sure people don't see his pain and he contains it working so hard not to feel the pain.
I urge my readers to stop and feel the pain, so they are able to feel the sun. To n0t run and keep being chased by the ugliness of it all. But to stand up, stand face to face with it... How? It depends on you and your needs. Hardest thing about grief, we are all unique and therefore how we deal, cope and greive are all very unique. Hopefully, I will help you find your own unique tools to figure out what will work best for you...
Love to you all, Laurie

"That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind. " -William Wordsworth

"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which we live." - Robert Kennedy

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6 (TNIV)

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."
-Albert Einstein (1879-1955) Nobel Prize winner 1921

"You create your own universe as you go along"
- Winston Churchill 1874-1965

"...everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way..."

-Viktor Frankl, born 1905,
prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp from 1942 to 1945

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant me that I may not be a coward, feeling your mercy in my success alone; but let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure”

– Ranbindranath Tagore, “Fruit-Gathering” from “On Death and Dying”

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do” – Eleanor Roosevelt